Ari's Movie Review
My Girlfriend Made Me Watch The Huntsman- A Movie Review
Photo Credit- Mark Ralston
The second installment of Hammer and Nigel Show Producer Ari's weekly movie reviews. Each week, Ari checks out a terrible movie and gives his honest criticism and review.
The Huntsman: Winter’s War
Listen, I’m not going to lie to you, this movie legitimately sucked. I didn’t want to watch it in the first place, but my girlfriend told me it was a good movie, so I gave it a chance. Horrible mistake.
I knew this thing was going to be a clunker within 10 minutes. For those of you unaware, this movie is the sequel to Snow White and The Huntsman. I never saw that movie, but I assumed that this sequel would at least give some sort of recap of what had previously occurred. Nope. So from the beginning I was already at a step behind.
From what I could gather, apparently in the first movie Charlize Theron plays this smoking hot witch and then somehow gets trapped inside a mirror after Chris Hemsworth’s character fights her. Kind of seems important, but this movie didn’t really cover it. Anyways, I digress.
So this movie starts off with a flashback. So you remember I was telling you about Charlize Theron? So we see her and it turns out she’s got an even hotter sister played by Emily Blunt (who also has some sort of ice powers, idk) and they get into a huge fight about raising a family or something and ice queen Emily Blunt goes off and swears to destroy the world because…. reasons.
Alright, flashback is over and we’re in the present now. Chris Hemsworth already saved the day in the last movie, so he’s off chilling and doing his own thing. All that changes when some goblins steal a super dangerous mirror that somehow can destroy the world. It didn’t make sense, but like I told you from the beginning- this thing was a clunker.
Chris Hemsworth decides to come out of retirement and get the mirror back from the goblins. So he goes out looking for the mirror, when all of the sudden he gets kidnapped by a masked man. Let me remind you, Hemsworth is legit like 6’4, 240 pounds and proceeds to get whooped by this little dude.
So, shocker, the mystery man turns out to be a girl and this girl also happens to be Hemsworth’s long lost wife.
I was pretty much done after that. I told my girlfriend that I hated this movie and turned it off. Not sure what ends up happening. Have to assume Chris Hemsworth and his not dead wife kill smoking hot ice queen Emily Blunt. Hopefully they don’t make a third one of these.
Well, that’s my movie review for The Huntsman: Winter’s War.