Senator Bernie Sanders is a Socialist superhero of sorts. At 78 years of age, the Brooklyn native, millionaire, and proud proprietor of “Senator Sanders’ Socialist Summer Boot Camp” has captured the imagination of naive and easily-manipulated young people who know nothing of Socialism other than it sounds pretty damn cool!
It is this kind of misguided, yet unshakable belief in a system of government that consistently ends in a society’s citizens eating their beloved family pets that’s allowed Senator Bernie Sanders, unlikely teen idol, to rise to the very top of the cesspool that is the 2020 gaggle of Democrat candidates for president.
Yet behind his unpolished and unkempt demeanor is a man like any other common citizen who owns multiple upscale homes and spouts reams of economic nonsense ad nauseam.
Yes, this 78-year-old Socialist with poor posture puts his $700 sport coats on one arm at a time. And just like any other man, his presumably functional digestive system comes equipped with an escape valve.
Now, after months of exhaustive research, Brian Baker is proud to present you with unsubstantiated evidence of 10 times that “Senator Bernie Sanders Likely Smelled His Own Flatus.”
“The Podium Pooter”
“The Close Quarters Crop Duster”
“The Global Warmer”
“The Socialist Squeaker”
“The Shock & Awful”
“The Domestic Terrorist”
“The Mid Debatus, Too Late to Escapus”
“The Humble Rumble”
Read additional political insight and intelligent commentary from Brian Baker by visiting www.SandersSmellies.com