Breaking: O.J. Simpson FINALLY Comes Clean


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Breaking: O.J. Simpson FINALLY Comes Clean

25 Years After Murdering His Ex-Wife and Her Friend, O.J. Puts an End to Those Tasteless Rumors That Have Dogged Him for Years



It's been 25 years since OJ Simpson butchered his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend, Ronald Goldman. My goodness, how times flies! It seems like only yesterday the 'Juice' was slapping Nicole around, breaking into her home, and downplaying her multiple calls to police and documentation of OJ's physical abuse. 

But now, after years of being dogged by relentless accusations and filthy rumors, celebrity murderer OJ Simpson is FINALLY setting the record straight: No, he is NOT Khloe Kardashian's biological father.

"O.J. The Slasher" posted a video on Sunday in response to a documentary by some cat named Norman Pardo regarding the murder of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, for which Simpson was tried and acquitted in criminal court, then tried and convicted in civil court. 

In the video, the murdering and narcissistic sociopath Simpson vehemently rejects allegations that he had an affair with Kris Jenner.

"Bob Kardashian, he was like a brother to me. He was a great guy," Simpson shared, referring to Kris' late husband who also defended Simpson in court during his 1995 murder trial. "He met and married Kris and they really had a terrific time together, when they were together. Unfortunately that ended."

"But never, and I want to stress never, in any way shape or form, have I ever had any interest in Kris romantically or sexually," Simpson added. "And I never got any indication that she ever had any interest in me. So all of these stories are just bogus. Bad. Tasteless."

And if ANYONE knows about things being "tasteless," it's the guy who murdered his wife and then wrote a book about it, entitled "If I Did It."

Hey! Remember when OJ denied that he would ever own a pair of "ugly ass shoes" like those Bruno Magli shoes that Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman's killer wore? And then remember how he freaked out when he was shown a picture of himself wearing "ugly ass" Bruno Magli shoes?

Classic stuff.

Anyway, OJ Simpson is a murdering, narcissistic sociopath, but he would never stoop so low as to hump his best friend's wife. So stop making baseless accusations and demeaning his character, okay?

WIBC clarification: For the purpose of journalistic integrity and fairness, please note that Mr. Simpson WAS found to be NOT guilty in a criminal court by a jury of overly-sympathetic and mentally-deranged imbeciles. Therefore, we cannot possibly in good conscience fail to mention that to call him a 'murderer' is nothing less than completely and wholly irresponsible. NO ONE can say for sure whether OJ Simpson is TRULY innocent or guilty, but there is this much we do know: He's guilty.

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