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Fat-Shaming has been ruled by the “Snowflake Society of Socialists for a Better Amerika” as an effective tool in the country’s battle against obesity.

More than 40% of U.S. citizens are morbidly-obese slobs, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The CDC says that officially makes obesity a nation-wide pandemic, and the CDC is never wrong about anything – especially data related to pandemics.

Evidence substantiating the CDC’s claims about the American Girther Movement is indeed disturbing.

In May of 2019, a festively-plump 900-pound drug addict in Virginia had to be cut out of his trailer so he could be transported to court on a flatbed truck to appear on charges of cocaine possession.  Only in America do stories such as this exist. Do you think that kind of thing happens in Venezuela? I assure you it does not.

Consider this: America is the only country in the world where even our poor people are fat!

America, we’ve got to shape up a little bit.

Do you see this right here:

https://tenor.com/IgJr.gif

These can NOT be the kind of images our country presents to the world.

Of course, change only happens through strong leadership. In America, our grandest leader is none other than President Donald Trump: billionaire businessman, stable genius, and lover of tasty fast-food.

Specific and carefully-selected portions of the President’s medical records, however, prove that despite his girthy appearance, Mr. Trump is in top physical condition. He plays golf regularly, he tans, and while rumors of regular multi-vitamin consumption are unconfirmed at this time, he proudly ingests a daily dose of hydroxychloroquine, which doctors claim gives him certain unusual superpowers.

Bottom line: this is NOT a man who is cavalier about his health.

Nonetheless, the President’s critics are concerned for about his wellbeing. Yes, a giant and twerkable booty might be sexy as hell, but it’s just not healthy.

Unfortunately, President Trump isn’t the type of man to take suggestions – even when those suggestions are said in love and for his benefit.

Want proof?

Consider this: Do you honestly believe his most-trusted associates haven’t mentioned the whole “maybe you should get off of Twitter” thing to him yet? Okay then.

At his core, say Trump’s critics, the President is a bully. And we all know the only way to motivate a bully with a belly is to bully that bully about his belly until the bully takes action about his belly for the bully’s own benefit and the betterment of his belly!

Enter James Carville, ex-strategist for formerly-tubby ex-President Bill Clinton. Carville is leading the charge to get Trump fit by body shaming the President in a manipulative effort to prompt the small-handed leader of the U.S. into declaring war on his glorious gut.

Carville appeared on The Stuttering John Podcast Thursday to unveil his clever strategy, which involves tying the President’s odds of re-election – something Trump greatly values –  to his weight problem.

“He’s gonna get his a** beat,” Carville said of his concern for the President’s wellbeing.

“Alright, he’s gonna get his fat a**  beat. The question is by how much.”

Speaking with love in his heart, Carville noted later in the podcast that if fellow fat-shamers will “go and take it to him and talk about what a massive fat figure he is, [they] can run away with this thing,” presumably referring to the movement to get Trump fit.

The Chicks on the Right have more on this important matter of national intelligence in the clip below.

https://omny.fm/shows/chicks-on-the-right/carville-calls-trump-fat

Photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images