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Please Note: The following article may contain heavy amounts of sarcasm, severe mocking of liberals, and unbridled glee at the regressive progressive mindset.

In this era of anti-law enforcement liberal lunacy, only ONE police force in America can be trusted to keep your children safe from the dangers of free speech, freedom of thought, and the inherent risks associated with exposure to conservative common sense: The Twitter Police.

Many misguided morons aspire to become proud soldiers of the Twitter police. Few will qualify. Sadly, even fewer will be able to secure alternative means of employment, damning them to a lifestyle of basement-dwelling in their parents’ home and a steady diet of Red Bull and PB&J with the crusts cut off.

But who are these brave and non-thinking members of the official Twitter Enforcement Brigade – these discount heroes born of a society of severely diminished expectations?

They don’t wear a uniform. They don’t carry a badge. They wet themselves at the mere mention of the Second Amendment.

Who are they? They’re granola-munching morons who can barely get through a shower without drowning, yet they’re in charge of monitoring the President’s Twitter feed to ensure “truth and accuracy.”

Tuesday, June 23, 2020, 2:46 PM:

President Donald Trump, aka “Orange Man Bad” issues the following tweet, prompting liberals from coast-to-coast to experience  explosive diarrhea:

https://twitter.com/naptownbri/status/1275850402358071296?s=20

Tuesday, June 23, 2020, 2:46:01 PM

Twitter calls for janitorial services to change their diapers and then issues the following safety notice above the President’s tweet:

https://twitter.com/TwitterSafety/status/1275500569940176897?s=20

Tuesday, June 23, 2020, 2:46:45 PM:

Janitorial service members powder Twitter enforcement officers’ bottoms as the following notice goes forth:

https://twitter.com/TwitterSafety/status/1275500570959384578?s=20

Tuesday, June 23, 2020, 5:50 PM:

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany responds:

Wednesday, June 24, 2020, 9:10 AM:

The Chicks on the Right laugh their well-toned bottoms off at Twitter’s defense and protection of violent law-breakers and unruly rioters:

https://omny.fm/shows/chicks-on-the-right/trump-tweet-flagged-again

(Photo by Chesnot/Getty Images)