Ari's Movie Review

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Flatliners Remake is a Travesty- A Movie Review

Photo Credit-Michael Gibson 

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I continually allow my girlfriend to pick out our weekly movie?

I’ve given her time and time again to prove herself by picking out a good movie, but what I have gotten in return? Trash!

This movie we watched last night just might take the cake and forever revoke her movie picking privileges. See, my girlfriend loves the TV show, Vampire Diaries. Turns out the lead actress in that show was the star of the “Flatliners” remake.

You remember Flatliners, right? That movie from the 90’s where the med students kill themselves and quickly bring themselves back to life to see what would happen.

Well this remake takes that same premise, dunks it in a pile of human feces then bakes it in the sun until it has become an amorphous stinky blob of the original.

God bless the actors in the movie, because you can tell they are trying. They clearly realized halfway through the movie that their agents had screwed them. They make the best with the cringe worthy dialogue and a plot that literally makes zero sense.

So, the medical students decide that it would be a good idea to kill themselves, and then bring them back to life? If you think that sounds dumb, you’d be correct. Anyways, they do it and they all get super smart (for some reason), but they also start to get haunted by some ominous presence. It’s never really made clear why they get smart or why they are being haunted, but there are 3 or 4 sex scenes sprinkled into the movie to try and distract you from thinking about it.

After some pathetic attempts by the director to insert some horror into the movie, the truth behind the villainous presence haunting them becomes clear. If you’re thinking of seeing a spooky monster or demon, prepare to be extremely disappointed to meet the villain of this film…..their guilt.

Yup, their guilt was haunting them. Does it make sense? No. Did it create tension? No. Did it make me want to turn off the movie immediately? Yes.

The movie ends in spectacular boredom, and my girlfriend tries to tell me “It wasn’t that bad”, so I made her sleep on the couch to think about her poor choices.

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