The Hammer and Nigel Show
Hey Dems: Trump Just Raised $200K Towards His Re-Election Bid by Selling Plastic Straws
(Mirrorpix / Contributor/Getty Images)
Remember those logic and reasoning questions on the SAT test in high school? Okay, pay attention: "Millennial Do-Gooder is to War on Plastic Straws as The Greatest Generation is to World War II."
You see, it's the 21st Century, and America has an all-new enemy: single-use plastic straws. Yes, these inanimate objects that aid in the consumption of tasty beverages are dangerous devils that threaten our very existence on this planet. How? By falling into our oceans, whereupon fish will use them to drink up all the water and turn our beloved Mother Earth into a dustbowl.
Interruption for Editorial Integrity: The battle to eliminate plastic straws is about protecting our oceans from dangerous pollution - not fish drinking all the water in the ocean.
Fun Fact: A 2018 Bloomberg article notes that on a global scale, straws account for 0.03% of total plastic waste by mass.
Bonus Fun Fact: According to Ocean Conservancy’s 2017 Coastal Cleanup Report, straws and stirrers make up just 3% of the total trash found on beaches.
More Facts: Paper products, in general, require more energy and resources to manufacture than plastic products.
So Many Facts: While paper products are generally considered biodegradable, paper straws don't meet the criteria to be labelled as such.
Bottom line: The war on straws is a war generally fought by illogical bleeding-heart liberals, and President Donald Trump is now exploiting the do-gooder's war on those plastic treasures of convenience for the benefit of his re-election campaign.
Editor's Note: Haha.
The Trump campaign announced Monday that it sold more than 140,000 Trump-labeled recyclable plastic straws, raising more than $200K towards the President's inevitable re-election in 2020.
We have sold more than 140,000 straws. That is over $200,000 raised.— Brad Parscale (@parscale) July 22, 2019
More than half of all Straw purchasers were BRAND NEW small dollar donors.
“We have sold more than 140,000 straws. That is over $200,000 raised,” tweeted campaign manager Brad Parscale.
“More than half of all Straw purchasers were BRAND NEW small-dollar donors. Amazing!” he added.
Personal and Pleasing Observation: "The Orange One" REALLY knows how to trigger the left, and watching him use common sense and business strategy to exploit their pointless crusades to his advantage is deeply powerful and spiritually rewarding for us conservative folk.
President Donald Trump was asked why the left is so obsessed with banning straws, and his answer made complete sense. The #1-rated Hammer and Nigel Show (soon adding an additional hour to their daily show) have Trump's hilarious insight in the clip below.