The Hammer and Nigel Show
Mitt Romney Is Worse At Picking Pseudonyms Than He Is At Relating To Poor People
(Chip Somodevilla / Staff/Getty Images)
Once upon a time, an anonymous Twitter account was operating in full anti-Trump glory under the chosen name of "Pierre Delecto" - the worst pseudonym to come into existence since the days when "Carlos Danger" was tweeting d*ck pics.
Unlike "Carlos Danger," "Pierre Delecto" never showed us his junk. While "Carlos Danger" preferred to spend his time playing amateur photographer with his flapdoodle, "Pierre Delecto," had a fetish for engaging in anti-Trump rhetoric and praising the likes of Sen. Mitt Romney, the least relatable man in American politics.
What trouser snake exhibitionist "Carlos Danger" and never-Trumper "Pierre Delecto" DO have in common is that their creators were two of the tooliest tools in the toolshed of Washington politics.
"Carlos Danger's" meat skewer turned out to belong to Anthony Weiner - a revelation that permanently ended the Democratic congressman's political career and put him in jail.
So who owns the "orange man bad" sentiment of "Pierre Delecto"? According to a reporter for The Atlantic, "Pierre Delecto" is none other than the Republican Senator from Utah, Willard Mitt Romney. That's right; the REAL Pierre is the guy who ties dogs to the roof of his car before heading out for a Sunday drive. Worse yet, he's not even French!
Pierre has made his account protected since being exposed (No, not the "Carlos Danger" type of exposure) by The Atlantic, meaning people who are not approved followers cannot read his posts or see his other activity. At the time of a follow-up report by Slate, the account had just eight followers.
Fun Fact: As of Monday afternoon, "Pierre Delecto" has more than 1,000 followers.
So Romney created a fake Twitter account and named himself "Pierre Delecto." Yep, it's official: Mitt Romney's a dweeb.
Seriously Mitt, you couldn't come up with something a little less doofus? How long did you wrack your brain to come up with that God-awful pseudonym? Oh, that's the name you and the wife use for role-playing in the bedroom? Carry on.
Hammer and Nigel have more terrible AND fabulous pseudonyms in the clip below.