(Screen Capture: YouTube.com/viralhog)
Let me ask you a question: Has your relationship lost its romance?
Ladies, has he stopped regularly sending you flowers?
Fellas, is she frequently yelling out your father’s name during sex?
Relationships are hard, and it’s often difficult to know when it’s time to cut your losses, walk away, and seek out an all-new emotionally-abusive partner.
Sure, she put your parakeet in the freezer with a note saying “YOU’RE NEXT,” but does that REALLY mean the relationship is toxic?
Sure, you came home early from work and caught him dancing to Donna Summer records while wearing one of your nighties, but is that really worth breaking up over?
The fact is, there just is NO clear-cut, easily-identifiable way to know for certain when it’s finally time to scream horrifically insensitive and dehumanizing things at each other, irreparably damage 2-3 rooms worth of drywall, and flee your formerly shared residence at an erratic and unsafe speed as you tell yourself, “This time it REALLY IS over for good! We are NEVER getting back together! Now, where’s my Taylor Swift CD?”
Fortunately, there ARE some simple steps you can take to ensure a smooth transition for you and your former lover as you go from “chained and miserable” to “single and pretending to love it.”
H&N Pro Tips:
- Spray your things with flame-retardant prior to having “the talk.” Why take chances?
- Be honest with children. Let them know that YES, frankly, it IS their fault!
- Never reveal the location of your car keys under ANY circumstance – especially if you drive an exotic.
Behold what can occur when you choose to ignore H&N Pro Tip #3:
I don’t know what that dude did, but I’m willing to bet it involves either her sister or her best friend.
WIBC’s Nigel and Rob Kendall will have more on the heartwarming SUV Getting Severely Smashed video on today’s show, 4pm-7pm.
