The Hammer and Nigel Show
The Votes Are in: Four More Years of Potholes and Bullet Holes.
(GQ Archive/Getty Images)
The election is over! Indianapolis Mayor Joe Hogsett, aka "The Hogg, aka "Boss Hogsett," has managed to secure another term as the esteemed leader of our pothole-riddled, feces-infested, Red-Line-riding city.
Here's the way things shook out once all the votes were counted:
- Joe Hogsett managed to garner an astounding 71% of the vote.
- Jim Merritt didn't.
- A third guy ran whose name I can't remember.
But seriously, congratulations to Mayor Joe Hogsett on his successful obliteration of Jim Merritt.
By the way, Jim Merritt wasn't the only Republican to suffer humiliating defeat Tuesday night. In fact, the entire Republican party was crushed like the bones of a squirrel getting smashed by a Mack truck.
Sorry, too graphic?
More of Tuesday's Republican political carnage:
- Democrats picked up several seats on the Indy City-County Council.
- Democrats were victorious in several mayoral elections across the state.
- Democrats crushed Republican Minority Leader Michael McQuillen.
Hang in there, Republicans. Beer Sample Friday is right around the corner. In the interim, enjoy commentary on Tuesday's election results and exquisite hand-crafted Hogsett puns, courtesy of the Hammer and Nigel show: