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Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange is in Deep Metaphorical Feces

Arrested, Facing Charges Related to 2010 Wikileaks Releases

(Jack Taylor/Getty Images)

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to steal and publish classified documents from the United States government on our personal website. 

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was arrested Thursday at the Ecuadorian Embassy in the jolly good British capital. The arrest followed Assange's eviction from the Embassy after Ecuador dropped his asylum status. And get this: they didn't even help him with his bags. That's right; they threw him right out on his ass.

Assange wore a scraggly beard, a moth-eaten coat, and intensely aromatic body odor for the occasion. 

Meanwhile, the United States Justice Department announced Thursday that they're still pissed at Mr. Assange and have charged him with computer hacking crimes for trying to illegally access "secret" materials on a U.S. government computer.

Naughty, naughty, Julian. 

Hosts of WIBC's #1-rated afternoon drive show and arm-chair international espionage experts Hammer and Nigel broke down the charges against Assange and his thrilling emergence from seclusion on Thursday. 

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