A 22-year-old Florida woman attacked her father and attempted to damage his “fun bag” after the proud poppa refused to share his medical marijuana.
According to a report from the Indian County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded to a domestic dispute at a luxurious and plush trailer home in Sebastian around 4:30 p.m. last Thursday after a woman complained that her boyfriend was suffering an ass-whoopin’ at the hands of his dinkie dow-lovin’ daughter.
Deputies were then properly introduced to Dakota DiRienzo, who admitted she attempted to grab daddy’s wedding tackle because he wouldn’t share his giggle smoke with her. She claimed that he shared the medicinal jolly green with his friends, however, and a fight ensued.
“Dakota attacked Luigi by pulling him down to the ground, and by attempting to grab his genitals,” according to the criminal complaint.
The daughter was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge and released the following day on a $1,000 bond.
DiRienzo’s court date is set for Aug. 18. She has been ordered to have no contact with her father or his gonads until then.
Hammer and Nigel investigate this important story of family togetherness in today’s edition of Legal Stuff.