Are you one of the millions of Americans suffering from daily bowel movements with no possible means of removing the incriminating evidence?
Have a wife who’s full of fiber, but not a thing with which to wipe her?
Got a pot that’s full of stinky, yet not a single roll of TP?
If so, why not try a discount pack of Mike Huckabee’s All-Natural Crack-Cobs, “Grown in The South, but NOT for Your Mouth.”
Mike Huckabee’s all-natural crack-cobs are organically-grown, biodegradable, and most-excitingly, PALM OIL FREE! Yes, with every wipe, you’ll be doing your part to protect the critically-endangered habitat of the Sumatran orangutan!
Isn’t that right, Clyde?
Mike Huckabee’s All-Natural Crack-Cobs are available in packages of 6, 12, or full-harvest 24!
And for those with digestive challenges who demand the ultimate luxury in post-BM cleanup, try our all-new “IBS Ultra!” Twice the corn, twice the cob!
But don’t take our word for it!
Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) March 20, 2020
Mike Huckabee’s All-Natural Crack-Cobs: “It’s a Sunny Day When You Wipe Mike’s Way!”
Now a proud sponsor of the Hammer and Nigel Show…