A minister surprised the bride and groom during their wedding by unexpectedly launching into a song. The problem? She sucked!
The “Auditory Quality” Division of “Hammer and Nigel Enterprises” considers multiple ranking factors when evaluating impromptu “Assault Singers,” who commonly commit their heinous crimes during wedding ceremonies:
- Was the crime committed by the bride, groom, or any member of the wedding party?
- Was alcohol involved?
- Were children present?
- Did the heinous performance include choreography?
- Were the bride and groom able to successfully consummate their marriage after the auditory abuse took place?
- Does the incident qualify as performance art?
- Was the singer a descendant of the John Daker bloodline?
- Was the singer “Looking for a City?”
Based upon the aforementioned criteria, the “Auditory Quality” Division of “Hammer and Nigel Enterprises” has certified”Minister Ruins Wedding with Impromptu Song” as “Pure Suck.”
Hammer and Nigel have more background information on this crucial American story in the clip below.