Chick-Fil-A is so much more than the “Home of the Original Chicken Sandwich” – it’s a glimpse of Holy perfection. In fact, some religious scholars believe that the Chick-Fil-A experience is what the Garden of Eden was like before Adam and Eve screwed it all up.
What’s not to love about Chick-Fil-A?
Service: Impeccable.
Workers: The nicest human beings on the face of the planet – and that’s just on their “bad” days.
Ice Cream Machine: ALWAYS working.
Yes, Chick-Fil-A, makers of the finest fried poultry goodness throughout the land, represents the very best of what life has to offer. McDonald’s? Not so much.
Above all else, Chick-Fil-A is a moral company that takes care of its people and its customers in the most friendly and efficient way possible. It is for this reason that we at the Mock N’ Rob Show propose that Chick-Fil-A be placed in charge of running all future elections in our blessed United States.
Consider Chick-Fil-A’s inspiring response to the COVID-19 pandemic versus the American government.
U.S. Government Response: When the virus hit, state and local governments determined the smartest way to flatten the curve and reduce infections was by putting all of America on house arrest, bankrupting businesses that took lifetimes to build, and taking whatever action was necessary to send our nation’s unemployment rate surging to levels not seen since the Great Depression.
Chick-Fil-A Response: Unlike elected officials, Chick-Fil-A owners, managers, and workers did not cower and wet their pants. Instead, they rolled up their sleeves and fed our grateful nation as many waffle fries and chicken sandwiches as our hearts desired.
Further, they did it all via drive-thru in under 5 minutes on average! How is that even possible? They’re doing like 50 cars in the same amount of time it takes McDonald’s to do three!
Chick-Fil-A’s drive-thru times are faster now than they were BEFORE the pandemic. It’s like the more cars they have in the drive-thru lane, the faster you get your food! It defies all logic and yet, it’s happening at this very moment (unless you’re reading this on a Sunday).
Chick-Fil-A: “A Hope for a Better Tomorrow.”
Wake up, America! It’s time to make your voice heard and demand that Chick-Fil-A be placed in charge of running the entire United States of America. It’s our best chance – in fact, our only chance – to save our country from ruin.
Can you imagine how much better life in this country would be if Chick-Fil-A workers ran the DMV? How about the Veteran’s Administration?
Heck, let Chick-Fil-A distribute the vaccine via their drive-thru. They’ll have you inoculated and enjoying tasty chicken in under three minutes!
Do you want election integrity? Eat Mo’ Chicken!
If we learned anything about the United States government as a result of the 2020 presidential election, it’s that the United States government should never be placed in charge of running a presidential election ever again.
Step aside, corrupt bureaucrats, and let Chick-Fil-A do its thing.
Consider This: Last week, a Georgia woman named Kimberly Ragsdale was arrested for allegedly posing as an FBI agent in order to get a free meal from Chick-fil-A.
According to a report, workers at the restaurant had called police to report that Ragsdale was identifying herself “as a federal agent to try and get free food.”
Police arrested her and the woman was charged with impersonating a public official.
Inescapable Conclusion: Chick-Fil-A workers do a better job of vetting a person’s identity than the Federal government.
We don’t need voter ID laws, America. We need Chick-Fil-A workers stationed at every polling place across the country.
And forget this mail-in ballot crap. You want massive voter turnout? Offer free nuggets and drinks with every legally cast vote.
Bottom Line: the good people of Chick-Fil-A should run all future elections in the United States of America WITHOUT EXCEPTION… provided our Constitutional Republic survives a Harris/Biden presidency, which is highly unlikely.
Bottom Line, The Sequel: Mock and Rob are the Chick-Fil-A of radio duos. We insist upon you listening to them at once!
Start here:
https://omny.fm/shows/mock-rob/more-hypocrisy-on-government-covid-mandates
