2nd Amendment Success Story: Battle Ax Edition
(Sergei Malgavko / Contributor/Getty Images)
A resourceful individual with a passion for Vikings used an ax to battle a convicted criminal who broke into his Michigan apartment late Wednesday night.
Ben Ball, 36, used a replica battle-ax to fend off 33-year-old suspect, Alex Lavell Rawls, who is now in jail and facing a possible prison sentence of 20 years if he survives his injuries. You know how those meddling emergency room doctors can be. They're always saving lives without regard to the greater impact upon society. Not cool, docs! Not cool at all!
Anyway, Ball says that the suspect dated his former roommate who left to get away.
Hey, swell roommate! "Listen, Ben, I broke up with this guy and now he's trying to kill me. If he happens to show up with murder on his mind, just take a message and tell him I'm not here, okay?"
The suspect showed up at Ball and his terrible roommate's apartment around 11:30 p.m.
Rawls knocked on the door repeatedly, then kicked it in, while Ball was in his apartment playing video games and watching Rick and Morty.
Editor's Note: I didn't make the video games part or the Rick and Morty part up.
Ball said he believed the suspect had a firearm.
“(The) door opened, (I) grabbed the ax, (then) step, step, hit.”
Editor's Note: The 'step, step, hit' technique is no longer permitted in professional battle ax tournaments. As of 2016, judges allow a maximum of one step per swing and the anchor foot must remain planted until the ax has traveled a minimum circumference of no less than 180 degrees.
The ax hit Rawls at least once in the torso and then the two began violently struggling, completely disrupting the apartment's Feng Shui chi, according to the police report.
“There was a bloody mess everywhere,” Ball said.
Editor's Note: Ball and his terrible roommate will not be getting their security deposit back upon vacating the apartment.
Rawls eventually gave up and proceeded to flee.
The trail of blood was undoubtedly of great assistance to police officers in tracking the suspect.
Kalamazoo ("zoo-zoo-zoo!") County officials say Rawls spent the night in the hospital but failed to bleed out before being transferred to jail.
Ball told a local media outlet that he owns a lot of weaponry like the Vikings and Barbarian warriors used long ago. When he’s not working at Applebee’s, he participates in events where people compete in ritualized combat.
“I’ve got a double-headed carbon steel battle ax that was homemade by a gentleman who has since passed. That’s what I call my baby,” Ball said.
Editor's Note: In the event that you one day have Ball as your server at Applebee's, we recommend tipping generously. You don't want an angry Viking wannabe with a giant ax chasing you through the parking lot to your car.
WIBC host Tony Katz has more of Ball's story in the clip below.