Traffic Quickie: How To Tell If Your Interstate Is Cheating On You
Take the word “quickie” and add the word “traffic.” Loins burning? Wait until you read about the upcoming road closures and, dare I say—in a french accent—lane alterations (oh yeah). You’ll want to search “leaker” in a certain online dictionary, then immediately delete your internet (I did all of this). But message me before you do, and include name and address. I’ll personally come to your home and talk about upcoming traffic abnormalities with you and your family. It’ll be around dinner time. I like ribs, and prefer to eat off a Mahogany table. With no plates. Be a good host. I might stay the night.
Before we get to the quickie, let’s offer a sophisticated recap of this week’s traffic action:
- I69 is Satan’s undercarriage
- People wreck a lot downtown
- If we want drivable streets in Indianapolis, make them gravel, because this pavement thing isn't working out. You know who has better streets than Indy? Atlanta. And dirt. On the brightside, at least we have “Meatless Monday,” which is the cure-all to every metropolitan infrastructure problem. Every time I drive over a damn metal plate my car rocks like it's about to capsize (this is an upcoming blog entry. I don't feel tame)
Jump down to the end if you want to learn your fate on Pendleton Pike in July. If not, on to more traffic!
Southbound 69—Anderson—has lane restrictions to fix the interstate between State Road 9/Scatterfield Road (Exit 226) and State Road 38/Dr. MLK Jr. Blvd. (Exit 222).
It should reopen by 6pm Saturday. Not a big deal to you? Then you haven’t driven I69 lately. It’s alive, and wants revenge.
Children's March for Humanity
This nifty little event will close a small portion of downtown for a couple of hours, starting at 10am. Affected roads include: Senate between Washington and Ohio, Washington between Senate and Capitol, Ohio between Senate and Capitol, and Capitol between Washington and Ohio.
This magical craft beer drinking event closes a small part of Park Street in the Mass Ave Cultural District. Sure, not quite the traffic calamity:
(Photo credit: Indianapolis Monthly)
Just a bunch of good natured adults getting together, acting like complete animals, chips, dips... I love this country. And Uber (not the Uber that encourages sexual harassment, but the one where you use the app. They're the same? Call Lyft).
MONDAY, JUNE 19th
Two traffic lanes on Kentucky Avenue at I-70 will be closed from Monday, June 19 until July 15 for bridge repair.
Overnight lane restrictions on SB 65 at MLK/West St. (Exit 117). Thank God it’s not drive time.
CRASH⚠️ : Aw crap .. Downtown, crash on SB 65 at the north split (MM 112.5). Traffic light except for a few spots across #Indy— WIBC Traffic (@WIBCTraffic) June 15, 2017
So you know, I’m wearing a catcher’s mask and a flak jacket as I tell you this, so don’t even dare throw a table at me, but...
Pendleton Pike is down to one lane in both directions between Oaklandon and Carroll until October. Left turns restricted into residential neighborhoods. Please don’t hurt me.
Anyways, a big ole’ bear hug to everyone that’s followed @WIBCTraffic and has helped me keep eyes and ears on the road. It’s really a team effort, and I’m certainly grateful.
Until next time,
Matthew Bair has never wrecked on I69, but used to be a moving violation. He's the new voice of Indianapolis traffic, and you can follow him on Twitter @WIBCTraffic. Call and chat or leave him a message at the traffic center: (317) 684-8134.