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TRAFFIC: Weekend Jambalaya

School is in session

We’re back!


WIBC Traffic blog apologizes for it’s spread of #FakeNews in last weekend's entry. Pendleton Pike didn't graduate to the smoldering hell hole it's destined to be, and the ramp from Indianapolis International Airport to westbound 70 remained untouched - lonely, sad, and uncared for, just waiting for the breath of a fine woman.


It was the weather, I swear. Or maybe I'm not good with numbers. Yet, I’ve learned the error of my ways - I’m an awful person - and will make amends by smothering you with road closures related to beer, concerts, school, baseball, Luck’s missing throwing shoulder, curing ED, and magic rocks (I bought ‘em from Abdul).


Need convincing to read on?  Here’s a hug:

(Photo Credit:


SATURDAY (and sometimes Sunday)


Indiana Microbrewers Festivel:


Indiana is married to the pork tenderloin, and it’s repugnant.  Anyone can deep-fry breaded pork, put it on a tiny bun, and call it an award winning meal.  Let’s make microbrews our food (it is a food - check the pyramid), and let’s make Indy the brew capital of America.  Saturday’s Indiana Microbrewers Festival is a jumping off point, with over 100 brewers occupying Military Park (most from Indiana). Ticket sales are kicked back to the Hoosier State, giving a little sweetness to your rough and tumble IPA.



(Photo Credit : Brewers of Indiana Guild: Drink Indiana Beer)


**Military park is on the westside of downtown, near IUPUI and bordering West, New York, and Blackford Streets.  Blackford St. between New York and Wabash will be closed 8:30 a.m. – 9 p.m. Expect ramped up traffic in the area, and it’ll probably take an extra minute to get an Uber.

Colts Training Camp Touchdown Town:


Near Lucas Oil Stadium, South St. will be closed from Capitol Ave. and West St. from 5am - 9pm for the Colts Training Camp Touchdown Town.  This is a promotional event that's not part of training camp, but who can wait? Colts' Camp will be run out of team headquarters at panoramic W. 56th St, and according to the website, practices will be closed to the public. But fans will have THE OPPORTUNITY to check out the new roster at “two off-site practices at local venues.”  I tell ya, this is the franchise that keeps on giving. I’ll happily rescind my cynicism if Andrew Luck plays the first week of the regular season with a healthy throwing arm. Guranteed, right?


**More downtown traffic Saturday. Pack Nutella in case you get stranded.

Indianapolis Indians:


The Indians are home Saturday against the Pawtucket Red Sox, and a really cool promotion is happening at Victory Field.  The first 2,500 fans will get a Thor bobblehead, which I’m sure will be scaled to the handsome masculinity of Chris Hemsworth (I hate you, Thor).  The Tribe will also be wearing themed jerseys, which will be auctioned off to raise money for the Shepherd Community Center.


***First pitch at 7:05.  Expect extra traffic on anywhere on West, Missouri, and around White River State Park before and after the game.  Same thing Sunday when the Indians roll at 1:35.  Tykes eat free on Sunday, so you know.  


High school kids dressed like asses in the 90’s.  I tied a flannel around my waist, wore my hat backwards, and spit.  I eventually stopped wearing flannel.

As dumb as we were (just like millennials), we listened to some pretty decent alternative rock.  “Express Lane: Korn is at Klipsch” Saturday, and “8 Tour Incubus with Special Guests: Jimmy Eat World” plays Saturday.  If you’re making a run on I-69, you’re best to leave early.  Construction - along with a voodoo curse on this stretch of interstate - could make you shake a fist at the man while cursing your middle class upbringing. Ahhh, the 90's.


The weather caused us to swing and whiff on a couple of things last weekend.  Let’s update, revisit, and apply more cream to the welts the cane left on my back.  That’s not funny.  Putting apple back in mouth.  Safe word is "Spaghetti Boll."

Airport Ramp Closure

Remember this one?  It was delayed until this Friday night (7/28) because of the weather.  A quick refresher:

To all of the weary travelers that are cutting their vacations short to enjoy this magical weather pattern, do know that the ramp from Indianapolis International Airport to WB 70 is closed from Friday night at 9:00pm until Monday at 6:00am.  After arrival, you’ll be dumped off onto eastbound 70 which takes you to southbound 465. Head south and exiting onto Kentucky Ave/SR 67, spin around and grab northbound 465 to westbound 70. You’ll be back in Terre Haute in no time, and lucky you.  Welcome home!  


Pendleton Pike One Week Repreve:


Lane restrictions on Pendleton Pike are delayed until August 5th.  I mean, it’s going to happen - and it’s going to suck.  Quick recap:


This is going to turn the northeast side into traffic stew.  Starting Monday, one lane of Pendleton Pike will close IN BOTH DIRECTIONS between Oaklandon and Carroll Roads (a stretch that’s a little over a mile) to build a concrete culvert.  Excited?  No? I’m not either, and I don’t have to drive it:




I’m getting a ton of tweets (maybe two to four) on when the southside ramp rebuild at 465-65 will be done. Here’s a quick recap of where we’re at:

  • 65 North (Exit 106) ramp to 465 West is closed for construction.
  • 465 East (Exit 53) loop ramp to 65 North is closed for construction.
  • 65 South (Exit 106) ramp to 465 East is closed for construction.

..And where we’re going:

  • Two lanes of I-65 South are expected to shift to the southbound side of I-65 in August.

So, we’re still hard at work, and the project is scheduled to be done in November - December.  


Avon, Franklin Central, and a few others went back to school this week. Indianapolis Public Schools are back Monday, along with a host of others.  I offer these tips. I am expert:

  • There are many more school buses on the roads. Watch out for them.  Still, I like my idea of putting all the kids on one bus. One bus for one school. Problem solved.  Let’s move on.
  • If you pass a school bus that has the STOP arm out, you obviously hate kids.
  • Which means you hate yourself, because you were a kid once.
  • School zones apply.  Slow down. Yellow lights with a sign reading “20” doesn’t mean you have twenty seconds to finish your text message, twenty seconds to finish your drink, or twenty seconds to make the next stop light.  I am expert.
  • Obey safety patrol.  I’d let ‘em hose down drivers that go too fast through school crosswalks. They’d knock on the window and be like “excuse me, will you please roll down your window?” Like Oliver Twist.  Then here comes the hose, and maybe even a firehose - if the school is well funded.  HA! You’ll slow down next time!
  • If you’re carpooling your neighbor’s kids, play the exact opposite of their favorite radio station. They’ll complain enough that their folks will decide to start driving them again, and maybe take your kids too. You’re off the hook!

Better yet, let's see what public safety pros have to say - as Indiana State Police Sergeant John Perrine and Wayne Township Fire Captain Michael Pruitt. They provided some excellent, helpful back-to-school traffic tips on dealing with school buses and negotiating crosswalks.  Learn and live:

On bus stops..

That’s it.  The next two blogs will feature updates on bridge repair at Capitol Ave. and Central Ave. over Fall Creek. Two spots birthed from inconvenince and sucktitude.

Much love.  Thank you for listening. We've had some awesome chats on twitter. It's great talking with everyone, and your tips are money.


(This is an updated version of the blog that was published last weekend. Updated closures were added on Wednesday...
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